Twenty-five(ish) towns, ten(ish) tests, four(ish) rounds
The method behind the madness
Ten(ish) things I (hope to) do in every town
Round one covers six towns in Quintana Roo over October, November, and December, spending about a week in each (with some extra time tacked on for dive days and dental work), in a rental car, from the Belizean border all the way to the beaches of the north. A week somewhere doesn’t really tell you much about a place unless you are looking for certain things to compare in each town and run the same tests every time. So, that’s the plan. Collect the data and write it down before I’ve had a chance to fall in love with the place.
It should go without saying that none of this is a recommendation for how anyone else should choose where they plan to move to, nor am I claiming it’s even a good idea. It’s just what one middle-aged woman with a laptop, AuDHD, and a bad back actually needs from a town.
The standing grocery list
Things I typically eat, priced in each town. This provides cleaner data than any cost-of-living index, and it tells me whether the food I like to cook with is possible to access.
Dairy
Cream
Milk
Yogurt
Cheese
Eggs
Almond milk
Protein
Chicken
Fish
Pork
Beef
Seafood
Pantry
Fruit
Vegetables
Spices
Oil
Peanut butter
Coffee
01 · Buy something I don’t need
A charging cable, a haircut, office supplies. Can you actually get a good variety of things here, how long does it take, and does anyone lose patience with my Spanish?
02 · Price the same seventeen(ish) groceries
Getting on the ground prices from the same kind of shop in every town, using the list above as the guide provides comparable numbers instead of guesses, and a fast read on what’s readily available.
03 · Walk into a clinic healthy
Ask what a consultation costs. Check out the building, the wait times, whether anyone speaks English, and whether I’d want to be there at 2am. Do the same with a doctor at the pharmacy.
04 · Thursday, 3pm, residential life
What is the town’s “default” for residents? Not the bustle of centro or the beaches, not the weekend or a major festival. Tour around for twenty minutes on foot where people actually live, when nothing is happening. This resting state is where most of real life happens.
05 · Sleep with the window open (but bars locked!)
Note what noises the night brings. Roosters, dogs, bells, music till 4, construction at 6. This is one of the most common reasons people leave a place, and completely invisible on a day visit.
06 · Run a real work session
Speed test at 3pm and again at 9pm. Can I attend a Zoom meeting with my camera on? If I can’t, it’s likely disqualifying no matter how good the reef is.
07 · Find the third place
Where will I sit alone in the evening without being a tourist? Where do my people hang out? A plaza bench, a café, a gym, a dive shop counter…a town without options on this front is likely a no. This is also the time to find out about the music scene.
08 · Same route, same time, four days
By day four, see if anyone nods. Do people seem welcoming (to those who are polite and respectful), or irritated by more foreigners? Or is everyone a foreigner? Local vs expat “feel” measured directly instead of guessed at.
09 · Ask the long-timers what broke
Sit down with someone who’s been around a while; five years or more, not one. Recent immigrants are still honeymooning and will tell you it’s paradise. Longer term residents have had time to see different sides. Ask locals who’s left recently, and why.
10 · Have a deliberately unplanned day
No dive, no errand, no agenda, and see what there is to do with it. Being a bit bored somewhere is the most honest simulation of ordinary life there is. If the place is still good that day, that’s a good sign.
*BONUS* Go out for pizza
Okay, here’s the deal. I love pizza. Like, really really love it. Like went to Italy in 2009 and ate pizza 3-5x a day while in Naples (for 4 days straight – please don’t do the math, it’s embarrassing). Italian food in general is my jam, likely because my great-great-grandparents came from Southern Italy, so I literally have red sauce running through my veins. So yah, I’m adding this to my “tests to run in each town” list. It’s not a deal breaker, but I’d like to know what the pizza situation is BEFORE committing to any long term relationship with a town. AND, I can say from experience in many countries, it’s generally pretty easy to find a good pie. I’m hopeful.
Where this falls short
As I said before, one week per town isn’t really a lot of time, especially when one or two of those days involve travel and packing, and another one or two potentially involve diving 🙂 So I likely won’t be able to run all ten tests everywhere (except for the pizza, that’s nearly guaranteed to happen everywhere). When a test doesn’t happen, the card says so instead of quietly leaving a gap. Diving is a big part of the reason I’m here, not an interruption to the research, so I’d rather that the data be short and honest than complete and invented (or getting in the way too much with my bottom time).
The ledger
The whole list
Rounds one to four · 2026 – 2027
Round one · Quintana Roo
October – December 2026
- Already went
- Last checked in
- Coming up
Everywhere I plan to assess, plus the places I’m only passing through. Round one is numbered in travel order: south to Chetumal first, then back up the coast. The coral dot is the last town I checked in from, so it runs a little behind me.
Round one · Quintana Roo · AUTUMN 2026
Chetumal
Stop 01
The state capital, on the bay, and the one many people skip. Less expensive, humid, easy access to Belize diving, and the only town on this list that isn’t shaped around visitors.
0 / 10 tests run.
Bacalar
Stop 02
The lagoon town. The real questions are whether anything is open in low season once the weekenders drive home, and how much tourism has raised prices.
0 / 10 tests run.
Mahahual
Stop 03
A cruise port that empties out by five. I want to know what’s left standing after the ships leave, and how much I’ll be bothered by the sudden influx of people.
0 / 10 tests run.
Felipe Carrillo Puerto
Stop 04
Inland, Maya heartland, almost no foreigners. The hardest test of my Spanish and probably the cheapest rent of the round.
0 / 10 tests run.
Cozumel
Stop 05
An island with a great dive community and a real town behind the waterfront, plus a ferry surcharge on every single errand.
0 / 10 tests run.
Puerto Morelos
Stop 06
Small, sits between two airports, and possibly the most liveable of the six. Which is exactly why I’m suspicious of it.
0 / 10 tests run.
What’s next
Three more rounds, then two years of narrowing it down
Each town in Round One starts with its own cards above, because it’s currently what I have nailed down in detail. Everything below is the shape of the plan rather than an absolute: dates will shift (and already have multiple times), stays may stretch to two weeks when it seems like a deeper dive may be warranted, and towns will drop off when the research suggests they should. Fly-in and fly-out cities aren’t typically listed unless I’m staying to assess them.
Round two · Oaxaca, then Chiapas and the coast · Jan – Mar 2027
I’ll be starting my year off with five weeks of immersive Spanish in Oaxaca City, then a detour to Chiapas, and back down to the Oaxaca coast before flying home.
Oaxaca City and Valley Towns – This is one of the stops I’m most excited about. Five weeks of language school, an apartment in centro, and everything else the area known for: markets, mezcal, music, and mole! Plus plenty of time to explore the smaller towns in the valleys.
Comitán – Ninety minutes down the road from San Cristóbal with half the attention and tourists, and lakes nearby. It’s here precisely because most people leave it off their list.
San Cristóbal de las Casas – Nearly every video sings its praises, but it also has one of the worst water situations on the entire matrix. Beautiful, high, and cold at night – hopefully just not *too* cold 🙂
Huatulco – A return to the beaches! Though I’m flying in specifically to dive and not necessarily considering it as a relocation destination, you never know. Nine calm bays, easier water than open reef, and a good place to decompress after the highlands.
Mazunte and Zipolite – Likely the closest thing on this leg to a beach town that I’d live in year-round. Although it’s surf rather than reef right off the sand, it’s worth checking out what’s accessible by boat. Plus, the hippie and wellness vibe might actually be a good fit, or may drive me nuts.
Puerto Escondido – A stop to catch the flight home, but it never hurts to keep an open mind.
Round three · Central Mexico · Apr – May 2027
Mexico City’s orbit, then east into the Veracruz highlands for some diving.
Tepoztlán – An hour and a half out of Mexico City and the near opposite of it. Mountains, a serious market, and nothing wet within reach. It scored high on the matrix, but nothing in particular stood out. It will be interesting to see what I find.
Valle de Bravo – A CDMX weekend-home town in the other direction. There are reports of real congestion on Fridays, but also reports on it being an amazing place to live.
Coatepec – The highest score on the whole matrix, a lovely cloud-forest town with few tourists, great music, and coffee.
Veracruz – Not necessarily a real contender for setting down roots, but worth exploring for a few days of diving before flying home.
Round four · Baja, then Lake Chapala, the sierra, and Pátzcuaro · Sept – Nov 2027
Definitely the most ambitious and longest Round of all: down the Baja peninsula first, then across to the mountains behind Guadalajara, Día de Muertos in Pátzcuaro, then over to the coast near Puerto Vallarta for the final stretch.
Loreto – Sea of Cortez diving on the doorstep, but the water column from the matrix is hit here the hardest (the aquifer, not the ocean). Small enough to walk out of in an afternoon, and a bit of a hike to a major hospital.
Todos Santos – An hour from Cabo, which raises three questions. Is an hour far enough? Has the art scene been replaced by day-trippers? And has the cost of living passed what I can afford?
La Paz – A beautiful, larger city (with a hospital) where I can swim with sea lions and whale sharks, listen to whale songs as they migrate, and spend nights strolling the malecón. But has it gotten too crowded, and can I stand the summer heat?
Guadalajara – A few days to look around on the way through, not a full stop where I’m running the ten tests. Just enough time to get a feel for the city itself.
Ajijic – Lake Chapala, and possibly the most established expat town in Mexico. It’s on the list as the far end of a gradient rather than a likely home.
San Juan Cosalá and Jocotepec – Same lake shore and an easy day trip, but much less foreign.
Tapalpa – Mountain town in the pines, a few hours south-west. Cold, quiet, and nothing like the rest of this list. Might as well check it out, no?
Pátzcuaro – Michoacán, a lake, and Día de Muertos. This whole Round was designed around being there for the day itself, because why not!
Mascota – Up into the sierra right off the flight from Morelia. An off-the-beaten-path Pueblo Mágico about 2 hours from the coast. I don’t know too much about it, but it could be a real find.
San Pancho – Over on the coast for the back half of the round. Smaller, one main street, and near enough to La Cruz to compare the two directly. HtHG visited there a couple years ago and said it was delightful but small. Too small?
La Cruz de Huanacaxtle – Half an hour from Vallarta and still a fishing town underneath the marina: day boats out to the Marietas, live music around the docks, and the big city close enough to borrow.
2028 · Second looks
After 8 months of Mexican travel and 25+ cities, I’ll need to narrow it down. Three cities that came out on top, two months in each, preferably in their worst season if I can arrange it. Anywhere that only works in good weather isn’t a year round home.
2029 · Decisions decisions
Hopefully after 2 years of exploring, I’ll be ready to figure out which place to call home! I’ll choose the final one and live there a year before buying anything (or never buy!). I’ll aim for a six-month rental so there’s room to move if two places tie, or to leave in the middle of month four if it’s a poor fit. The point is still no commitments, so nothing locked in.