The method
Ten things I do in every town
Round one is seven towns in Quintana Roo, from October 25th to December 15th – a week in each, in a rental car, in order down the coast and back. A week somewhere tells you almost nothing unless you run the same tests every time. So I do. Same ten, same order, written down before I’ve had a chance to fall in love with the place.
None of this is a recommendation. It’s what one middle-aged woman with a laptop and a bad back actually needs from a town.
The standing grocery list
Things I actually eat, priced in every town. Cleaner than any cost-of-living index, and it tells me whether the food I cook with even exists here.
Dairy
Cream
Milk
Yogurt
Cheese
Eggs
Almond milk
Protein
Chicken
Fish
Pork
Beef
Seafood
Pantry
Fruit
Vegetables
Spices
Oil
Peanut butter
Coffee
01 · Buy something I don’t need
A phone charger, a haircut, one specific spice. Retail depth – can you actually get things here, how long does it take, and does anyone lose patience with my Spanish.
02 · Price the same seventeen groceries
The list above, every town, same kind of shop. Comparable numbers instead of vibes, and a fast read on what I simply can’t get.
03 · Walk into a clinic healthy
Ask what a consultation costs. I’m really looking at the building, the wait, whether anyone speaks English, and whether I’d want to be there at 2am. Same at the pharmacy.
04 · Tuesday, 3pm, residential
Not the centro, not the weekend. Twenty minutes on foot where people actually live, when nothing is happening. That’s the town’s resting state, and it’s most of my life.
05 · Sleep with the window open
Note what wakes me. Roosters, dogs, bells, music till 4, construction at 6. The most common reason people leave a place, and completely invisible on a day visit.
06 · Run a real work session
Speed test at 3pm and again at 9pm. If I could hold a client call from here, that’s worth knowing. If I can’t, it’s disqualifying no matter how good the reef is.
07 · Find the third place
Where I’d sit alone in the evening without being a tourist. A plaza bench, a café, a gym, a dive shop counter. A town with none of these is a hard no.
08 · Same route, same time, four days
By day four, see if anyone nods. Local-versus-expat measured directly instead of guessed at.
09 · Ask the long-timers what broke
Five years or more, not one – year-one foreigners are still honeymooning and will tell you it’s paradise. And ask locals who’s left recently, and why.
10 · Have a deliberately unplanned day
No dive, no errand, no agenda, and see what I do with it. Being a bit bored somewhere is the most honest simulation of ordinary life there is. If the place is still good that day, that’s the answer.
Where this falls short
One week per town isn’t really a lot, especially when two of those days involved travel and and packing. So I likely won’t be able to run all ten test everywhere, especially when I fully intend to enjoy myself and the diving. When a test doesn’t happen, the card says so instead of quietly leaving a gap. Diving is a big part of the reason I’m here, not an interruption to the research, so I’d rather that the data be short and honest than complete and invented (or getting in the way too much with my bottom time).
The ledger
Round one · Quintana Roo · 25 Oct – 15 Dec
Chetumal
26 Oct – 2 Nov
The state capital, on the bay, and the one many people skip. Less expensive, humid, easy access to Belize diving, and the only town on this list that isn’t shaped around visitors.
0 / 10 tests run.
Bacalar
2 – 9 Nov
The lagoon town. The real questions are whether anything is open in low season once the weekenders drive home, and how much tourism has raised prices.
0 / 10 tests run.
Mahahual
9 – 16 Nov
A cruise port that empties out by five. I want to know what’s left standing after the ships leave, and how much I’ll be bothered by the sudden influx of people.
0 / 10 tests run.
Felipe Carrillo Puerto
16 – 23 Nov
Inland, Maya heartland, almost no foreigners. The hardest test of my Spanish and probably the cheapest rent of the round.
0 / 10 tests run.
Cozumel
23 – 30 Nov
An island with a great dive community and a real town behind the waterfront – plus a ferry surcharge on every single errand.
0 / 10 tests run.
Puerto Morelos
30 Nov – 7 Dec
Small, sits between two airports, and possibly the most liveable of the six. Which is exactly why I’m suspicious of it.
0 / 10 tests run.
Cancún
25–26 Oct · 7–15 Dec
One night at the start and the last week at the end for some dental work – passing through rather than assessing. I’ll price the grocery list anyway, so the quiet towns have something loud to be measured against.
0 / 10 tests run.